Wisdom of St. Mashie-Niblick
1.. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~Grantland Rice
2.. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike
3.. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ~Robert Lynd
4.. If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson
5.. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~Gardner Dickinson
6.. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~Sam Snead
7.. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth
8.. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~Dean Martin
9.. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ~Tommy Bolt
10.. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one. ~Author Unknown
11.. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. ~Author Unknown
12.. My handicap? Woods and irons. ~Chris Codiroli
13.. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ~Pete Dye
14.. I'm hitting the woods just great .... but having a terrible time getting out of them! ~Author Unknown
15.. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~Billy Graham
16.. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~Jack Lemmon
17.. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~Mark Twain
18.. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon
19.. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~Jimmy DeMaret
20.. May thy ball lie in green pastures .... and not in still waters. ~Author Unknown
21.. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ~Author Unknown
22.. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~George Deukmejian
And Finally . . .
23.. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ~Author Unknown
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